Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
