So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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