I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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