btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
