I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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