You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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