I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Randomize
