If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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