is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
