He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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