My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
she told me i tasted like america
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
