I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize