Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
