Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
