you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
