we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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