tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
