I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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