Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
