Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
