Do vagina's smell?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize