Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
of course. lets lasso hookers.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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