No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Someone came in the potted fern
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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