I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
