so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
