So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
