You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
