I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
