i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
