I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
