Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
