and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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