What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Randomize
