I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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