i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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