No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
