Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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