so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
