you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
