to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
