real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
