just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Do vagina's smell?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
