I wish I could punch you in the face.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
We need to rekindle our bromance
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
