I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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