VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
