when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
