your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I look better un-naked...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
