What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
