It's just like the Real World with babies
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize