I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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