When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
