This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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