Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize