Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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