its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Randomize
