He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
