i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize