I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize