Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
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