she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
