Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
pop tarts are not kleenex
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Randomize
