I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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