he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
