At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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