I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
