Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
