i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
