Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize