I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
