i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
