i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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