Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
he's single and there are thong briefs.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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